Which High School did you go to?

*For St. Louisans only

Enter

Are you Catholic?

Yes No

Are you one of 11 children?

Yes No

Do you believe in the healing power of prayer and not care if others think you are insane?

Yes No

Are you a dude?

Yes No

Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?

Yes No

Are you now or plan to be the mayor?

Yes No

Are your parents terrified of letting you out in the city?

Yes No

Really?

Yes No, I'm just Lutheran

Are you Jewish?

Yes No

Do you think you're the shit anyway?

Bada bing, baby! Yes No

Are your parents willing to pay the equivalent of a Toyota Prius every year to send you to school?

Yes No

Are you religious?

Yes No

Are you empowered (interpreted by guys as hot)?

Yes No

Does your household contain a staff?

Yes No

Do you test well?

Yes No, my brilliance is not recognized

Are you rich?

Yes Just comfortable No

Are you a jock?

Yes No

Did you grow up in the city?

Yes Sorta No

Are you holy (interpreted by God as hot)?

Yes No

Do you fancy yourself like Max Fischer in Rushmore?

Yes No

Do you test well?

Yes No

Did you start drinking at 14?

Yes No, I prefer smoking in daddy's Audi

Were there cows nearby?

Yes No

Are your parents rich?

Yes Sorta No

Do you believe in peace, love and the power of your own personal mantra, which you received from your own personal guru?

Yes No

Do you want to live forever? Or at least sing and dance forever?

Yes No

Could you get into John Burroughs?

Yes No

Do your parents care more about historic preservation than they do about your education?

Yes No

Do you have plans to join the Navy?

Yes No

Is your daddy a lawyer?

Yes No

Do you mind being educated by felons?

Yes No

Are you good at football or basketball?

Yes No

Are your parents planning to move to St. Charles?

Yes No

Does your daddy own lawyers?

Yes, bitch No, we just call them to get out of traffic tickets

Did your parents do drugs?

Yes No, they took me to church

Do you drive a muscle car? (Or would you if you had a car of your own?)

Yes No

Is it a rice burner

Yes No, I only drive American

Did you start playing football when you were three?

Yes No

Do you chew tobacco?

Yes No, I prefer to take my smoke breaks in the autotire parking lot

Do you party in the woods?

Yes No, we have houses for that No, by the river